You may have noticed that I've not been blogging as much as I have in the past; I used to post nearly every day but lately I've been very sporadic. Let me try to explain the reason for my lack of zeal for blogging lately.
If you will note in the upper right hand corner of my website, I explain the, "Why", of this blog. "This blog is meant to introduce you to me: an ordinary guy called by God to be a pastor. I have one agenda, I want you to get to know me better. Some of what you will find on this blog will be serious, some things will be funny, but all of it will give you a better idea of who I am."
With a large congregation it is difficult for each person to feel that they know the pastor well, because there is no way to have quality relationships with every single individual. This blog, and other social networking tools, have given people that I may have never had the opportunity of spending time with, a chance to get to know their pastor a little bit better (if they so chose - this blog or my Twitters is not required reading at FFC :-)
The unfortunate thing is that when you open yourself up to individuals, you open yourself up to being hurt as well. I'm sure you've experienced that numerous times in your life as well. I had a painful month last month, and I began monitoring everything I would write/say for fear my words would be misunderstood/twisted or used against me in some way.
I've normally done pretty well at not allowing the attacks of certain individuals get me down, and to keep pressing forward; but I've internalized a lot recently, which has not been healthy. I don't ever want to give the illusion that I'm "superhuman" and live a perfect life and respond to everything the way I should; so that is why I'm taking the first step, once again, of just being honest with you and saying I'm feeling sorry for myself and working past the "fear of man" and to simply be myself and realize my responsibility is to live with a holy fear of God and not people. (Prov. 29:25)
p.s.
The purpose of this post wasn't to get you to feel sorry for me - I just felt that I needed to start the process of being transparent once again otherwise I'd just stay in the funk I had been in.
It is frustrating when on YOUR own blog or YOUR own twitters that people feel they can control what you write or type or tell you that you can't say things in your posts. These things are words and thoughts from YOU and I for one enjoy reading them and getting to know you in a different way. I have been privialiged to get to know you both personally and through this blog and I for one appriciate YOU being YOU in all these posts. Keep being honest and being yourself in this forum.
ReplyDeleteThat's right, my dear, just be yourself. You are the most awesome person I know. You have wonderful qualities that many people only wish they had. We know that as people none of us are perfect; and I like it like that! It should keep all of us humble. You are so important to me!
ReplyDeleteThis is one of the only ways I have been able to be reacquainted with you and your personality. I've enjoyed it much. I've learned, laughed, and almost choked once.
ReplyDeleteI did notice your blogging becoming more sparatic and less humorous =) I thought you were just getting old. I pray for your funk. jk about the old thing.
I'm surprised you don't make your blog and twitter a membership requirement for FFC ;) haha.
ReplyDeleteThank you for being honest, transparent, authentic as a pastor Kris. It's been great getting to know you (and a few other FFC peeps) via blogs & twitter. The world is a much smaller place thanks to the tech, but also much more open to abuse too.
Praying for you all :)
Thanks for being honest & transparent. You have encouraged me to do the same. Keep on being you.
ReplyDeleteI tried to think of some witty way to twist around the words of your post just to be a jerk . . . but I couldn't think of anything creative to write ;o) Sorry!
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