Pastor's Confession

This morning I had to follow through on something that I felt the Lord was asking me to do last week. I thought that I could put it off and then God would let me off the hook. Perhaps if I ignored the initial 20 plus promptings He was giving me that He would forget and then I could conveniently forget as well. It didn't work that way.

You need to know that pastors struggle with the same kind of things that everyone else does. I struggle knowing if that is God's voice speaking to me or mine. I struggle with wanting to do the right thing but not always doing it. I struggle with temptation. I struggle with greed. I struggle with selfishness. I struggle with fear. I can be rude. I can be indifferent. I can be filled with an unhealthy pride. I can be disobedient...

It amazes me how the sermons I preach on Sundays are more for me than anyone else. Here is a direct quote that I intended to share this coming Sunday. I wrote these words over 2 weeks ago... "God wants us to see His response to our instant obedience. Maybe that breakthrough we are asking God for is in standby mode. Why? Because we are not obeying something He has asked us to do. God wants us to see His response to our instant obedience."

I'm glad that I eventually obeyed what God asked me to do; however, I'm disappointed that I did not display instant obedience. This is something that I will have to work on.

Fyi: I'm not looking for praise for eventually doing the right thing, the purpose of this post is confession. Matthew 6:1, "Be careful not to do your 'acts of righteousness' before men, to be seen by them. If you do, you will have no reward from your Father in heaven."

"I know that all God's commands are spiritual, but I'm not. Isn't this also your experience?" Yes. I'm full of myself—after all, I've spent a long time in sin's prison. What I don't understand about myself is that I decide one way, but then I act another, doing things I absolutely despise. So if I can't be trusted to figure out what is best for myself and then do it, it becomes obvious that God's command is necessary... I've tried everything and nothing helps. I'm at the end of my rope. Is there no one who can do anything for me? Isn't that the real question? The answer, thank God, is that Jesus Christ can and does. He acted to set things right in this life of contradictions where I want to serve God with all my heart and mind, but am pulled by the influence of sin to do something totally different." Romans 7:14-25 (Message)