Habit #5 from Stephen R. Covey's "The Seven Habits of Highly Effective People"
"Seek First to Understand, Then to be Understood. Covey warns that giving out advice before having empathetically understood a person and their situation will likely result in rejection of that advice. Thoroughly reading out your own autobiography will decrease the chance of establishing a working communication." taken from Wikipedia.
I learned this little tip very early on from my father who is a pastor. When people come to visit me for counseling, or I'm visiting with them in a hospital, or maybe beside a casket at a funeral home they aren't interested in hearing my story. They want to tell me theirs; and I should welcome that.
I went to a funeral a few weeks ago where the minister spoke more about his life during the message than the life of the deceased or the life of Christ. No one was interested in his personal stories, they weren't even comforting or related to anything else.
Personal stories and sharing myself with others is important and has its place, but effective ministry takes place when others come first.
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