I'm continuing a series of posts looking at some random leadership principles I've learned in 10 years of ministry...
When being torn apart by someone who is spitting venom at you - simply agree with them that you are a screwed up mess. I’ve stopped a couple of individuals cold in their tracks when I just simply and authentically agree and say, “You’re right, I’m an idiot”. That's always fun! My mentor, Pastor Paul Snyder, who has gone to heaven, used to say, “I don’t need to defend myself. If what is being said is not true then someone will come to my defense. If they don’t then what is being said may be the truth.”
Keep your yap shut. Fortunately, I've always been good at keeping secrets. Some ministers talk too much and that will always come back and bite them in the rear. Private conversations behind closed doors need to remain that way. There have been times I've shared with my wife but that is only when I need some guidance; I'm blessed to have a pastor's wife who does not gossip, some ministers are not so blessed.
Find what you do well and nail it! I stink at home visits and hospital visits. I'm not even that great at counseling, I get a little short with people who are being idiots. They don't motivate me and I dreaded doing them for many many years. It is not that I don't love the individuals or want to shepherd them, but I wasn't wired for one on one stimulating conversation and pastoral care. I will visit people in their homes when invited or if there is a spiritual need, but babysitting or fulfilling a traditional pastoral expectation has never been my gig. I was wired to communicate the Bible effectively. That's where my passion is, I love spending time crafting, editing, and delivering sermons in a way that holds people's attention. I love to take the complex and make it painfully simple; I get fired up when people take a step of faith and apply God's word or step across the line of faith and make Jesus their Lord and Savior. When this church released me to do what I was wired for, everyone began to benefit. I'm nowhere near where I want to be with my communication skills but you can be assured that I continue to work on being the best I can be.
Find out who the power people are. Every church has people who hold a position of influence that are not on staff. A little tip for discovering the major players are to pay attention in meetings. When a decision is to be made watch where the heads turn. The person that is being looked at is the leader. For good or for bad, knowing the power players will help you know who you need to run ideas by before the meeting begins.
Catch fish, feed sheep, don't corral old goats. Thank you Rick Warren for this piece of advice. Some people will leave the church as a form of leverage. They want their way and if they don't get it then they are gone. I'd list the reasons that I've seen people leave our church but you would think that I was pulling your leg, so I won't bother. Each time someone leaves the church I have to work at not personalizing it - even if their reason is that they hate me. I will not please everybody; Jesus didn't please everyone either. When there is conflict between me and and individual I will deal with that conflict when approached but I don't play games and chase down people who want to leverage their church attendance to get my attention. If we have people that claim to be Christians I never really feel too bad because they are saved, I will see them in heaven latter. If there is someone who leaves the church and is not saved that bugs me because they are the people that we are trying to minister to.
nicely said!
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